17 May 2010

IDIOT #7 - Ke$ha

Jesus, where do I start here with this mess of a human?  First off, that fucking dollar sign in her name makes me want to punch her in the face!  What the fuck is that?  Is she trying to be ironic?  Or is she so stupid she can't spell her name using the alphabet?  Does she even know the alphabet...I bet NO.

Now on to her supposed "music" (I will use quotes every time I use the word music because she isn't musical in any way) I listened to that Tik Tok nightmare yesterday and I am outraged that someone that seems to be bordering on mental retardation was allowed to be exploited like this!  I am sure she suffers from some sort of spectrum syndrome...or she is really just fuck nut dumb.  All the song is is Auto Tune singing for her and she is basically laying on her back throwing in a few lines about Jack Daniels here and there.  BUT THIS IS NOT MUSIC!  If you require Auto Tune to sing all your harmonies then you are NOT a musician...you are a fucking retard.


Now lets talk about her creepy childhood.  She was raised by some stinky hippie that used the old turkey baster method to get impregnated.  Wow, can you get more hillbilly than that?  And her creepy mom's name is Pebe...this is not a real name.  I don't give a shit if you disagree, this is not a name.  It is like a name you give your dick or something.  Pebe the stinky hippie dragged Kesha around to her "gigs" and somehow this is supposed to make us believe that she was surrounded by "music" from a young age and therefore some prodigy?  Nope.  This was absentee parenting at its finest.  Stick the little bitch in the guitar case and carry her along so I don' have to pay for legitimate day care.  Her mom was a WHORE and now Kesha is following in those fine footsteps...she is a WHORE.  She looks like a WHORE and I am sure she washes out that vagine with all that Jack Daniels.  ATTN MEN:  Fuck this one at your own risk.  JD cannot kill all the bacteria in there no matter what the label claims!!


Kesha is EVERYTHING that is wrong with "music" today.  She does not play an instrument, cannot sing, cannot dance yet some P Diddy wannabee dressed her up in her stray runaway clothing and is trying to make a buck.  To those unfortunate enough to have bought Tik Tok or any of her other fucking horrible songs, there should be a class action lawsuit to get your money back.  You have been scammed!  


I will make a bet right now of $500 that this bitch will be gone in 1 year.  Either from a overdose or just because a Federal law was passed that has banned the playing of this "music" because it causes seizures in children and the elderly.  


FUCK OFF YOU IGNORANT WHORE...your pimp is waiting for you and I hear he is one pissed of motherfucker!!!!

14 May 2010

IDIOT #6 - Russell Crowe

OK...I just saw an article on Reuters about stupid god damn asshole Russell Crowe walking out of yet ANOTHER interview!!!  Jesus this guy is an ungrateful dick weed!  I mean, you make gobs of money and someone merely questions your acting and you walk out in a huff like a little girl?  FUCK YOU.

According to the story, the interviewer simply asked if he was going for an Irish accent in the new Robin Hood movie and Mr. Crowe flipped out.  What the fuck?  It is a simple question, why would he get so upset?  Here is exactly what he answered back with:

"You've got dead ears, mate. You've seriously got dead ears if you think that's an Irish accent," Russell said, followed by a British slang expletive.

I can only assume the British slang expletive was "cunt" as the Brits bandy that about like we use shit or fuck.  Ok, sorry this is devolving into a curse fest.  But I swear to god I hate this asswipe.  Why can't he just be grateful for his money and fame?  Why is is always so angry?  And wasn't Robin Hood supposed to be Irish or Northern English?  Hey any accent is better than the accent fucking Kevin Costner tried in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.  Jesus, I almost killed myself while suffering though that pile of garbage!

SCREW YOU RUSSELL CROWE...and what the hell is with that picture?  (see above) 

12 May 2010

IDIOT #5 - Steve Jobs

OK, OK...Steve Jobs is not technically an idiot in the true sense of the term.  But lets face it, the guy has a MAJOR God Complex (look it up on Wikipedia).  He truly thinks he is the second coming or at least he attempts to get his minions to think this.  

First off, I HATE his stupid fucking black mock turtleneck!!!  He wears this god damn thing in every picture ever taken of him!  He has more money than most African countries and he cant afford anything else?  Does he just buy these in bulk at the mock turtleneck store in Milpitas? (there is no such store...don't go looking for it).  And what is with the hideous mom jeans?  God they look so retarded.  When the waist of your jeans goes almost to your breastbone there is a problem.

And the people that give him this idol worship...fuck you sycophants!  Just because something has a small white apple with a bite out of it on a device does NOT make it a holy trinket.  You are not cool because you have this fucking glowing apple on the back of your computer.  No one thinks you are edgy at Starbucks with your fucking tired Apple Air notebook...you are just poorer for investing in one.

Back to Stevie.  Yes, he helped create a massive corporation with bleeding edge technological inventions but he is NOT GOD!!!!!!!  He is mortal and should be treated as such.  And the fucking stupid iPad should be your first clue that he is on the downward spiral.

Steve Jobs...just die already.

11 May 2010

IDIOT #4 - Jon Gosselin

Geez...there is almost NOTHING nice anyone can say about this assbag...other than he is a total assbag.  Let's start with his ridiculous Ed Hardy clothing.  Lord, what the fuck is he thinking with these tiger ass jeans?  Other than a tranny I cannot think of ANY heterosexual man who would don these hideous jeans!  Who gave this Ed Hardy guy license to sell clothes?  Will no one stop him from producing the ugliest fucking garbage clothing on earth?  And will someone please tell Jonny boy he looks like a complete DOUCHE in them?

Now let's get to his horrible parenting.  Not only is he a cheater but he had his trouser snake in almost everything that moved in Pennsylvania!  The nanny, that ugly teacher, the ugly Hayley skank...possibly even a few hookers...god only knows.  I mean, yes, Kate is a complete and total BITCH but it is somewhat easy to sympathize with her now after all this played out.  

He claims that he never wanted to have "so many kids"...well...it would be pretty darn easy to just say NO YOU CANNOT HAVE MY SPERM IN THAT CUP BITCH!  No one can FORCE you to ejaculate into a little cup my friend.  And it is a bit late to whine about that now.  You have 8 kids dumb fuck, take some responsibility and act like a human.

Men like this ought to be instantly sterilized and should never be allowed to parent anything, not even a parakeet or hamster let alone 8 kids!!!  For the love of god someone please kick him in the nuts with a steel toed work boot so he cannot ever reproduce again!  I hate you Jon Gosselin...and so does the rest of the human race.

10 May 2010

IDIOT #3 - Lady Gaga!




OK I am so fucking sick of this stupid retard Lady Gaga and her fucking dumb outfits!!  WTF?  Why does anyone like her?  She makes crappy music and she is simply ridiculous.  She is not edgy or cool because she glues fucking crystals to her ugly face!  I think she is trying to just cover up some acne scarring or something.

Now there is an article about her wearing see-through underwear in public?  Really?  We DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR VAGINA you dumb bitch!!!!  She claims she wears no pants so her grandma can see her better.  Oh interesting, so you grandma is a raging 90 yer old lesbian who wants to see her granddaughters cooch?  GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This imbecile needs to just disappear back into obscurity and teenagers need to stop glorifying her as the second "Madonna".  She is NO Madonna!  Not even close.  Madonna is an amazing talent under her pointy bras but Gaga is just GaGrody!  DROP DEAD...I hate you.

07 May 2010

IDIOT #2 - Kelly Bensimon




Jesus, where do I begin with this hag?  For those that are not familiar with Kelly she is on the "Real Housewives of New York"...yet, she is not married therefore not a housewife.  What is with that title?  There is only one chick on the show that is actually married!  And she is married to a guy that looks like a cadaver so I use the term "married" loosely (yes Jill Zarin, I mean you).

This bitch Kelly dresses like a toddler that was set loose in Gymboree with Grandpa's Visa card yet she is around 48 years old!  There is serious question as to whether she is even a woman (behold the picture).  I keep waiting for the nut sack to fall out of one of her skanky outfits!  And her horrid, horrid pec implants are just frightening.  With her kind of money, who in tarnation put those shitty things in??

Her skin looks like it was deep fried at KFC and she could give Mike Tyson a good round with those shoulders.  She talks to people in this creepy little girl voice which I assume are due to the large amounts of estrogen she has to pump into herself daily to try to maintain some small hope that she is in fact a woman.

She was married to a guy who was about 40 years older than her and SHOCK he cheated on her!  Yet when someone asks her about his cheating she looks so surprised...UH, HELLO THAT IS WHY YOU DIVORCED HIM!!  She has two kids who really should be placed in the witness protection program to disassociate themselves from her.  Ugh, watching her try to be the cool mom is just nauseating.

Considering she is major coke head can't someone just crush up some Rohypnol in that line and place her on a train to Siberia?  For the love of god PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! 

IDIOT #1 - Justin Beiber

OK sorry but sometimes you really gotta be cruel to be kind...not that I want to be kind to this fucking douche.  I do not get Justin Beiber.  What is he?  Is he human or was he sent to us from a lab in the Mid-West where ass monkeys are bred.  He cannot sing, he can't really even talk ("Uhhh...German...what is that") and he looks like he has not yet sprouted one pube yet on that tiny 100 pound frame.  How low are we going now...will we just be chucking toddlers out on stage to sing about love and loss?  Yeah, I am sure he has suffered real true love!  Love of mastubation is all this stupid kid can know right now at age 14.

And the hair, oh the hair.  Am I the only person who thinks he looks like that fucking hair is trying to eat his face?  Why not just get a wig and completely cover your stupid face then?  

And with songs entitled "Eenie meenie" and "Baby" I feel like I should be with my 8 month old son at Kindermusik playing pattycake.  Not listening to this idiot rap in his pre-pubescent voice about getting laid!

DOUCHE BAG and IDIOT...just go away so I don't have to explain gender confusion to my 4 1/2 year old anymore!